My sister says some pretty entertaining things. As much as I love her, I thought I would share a few at her expense, and at your gain. I have no idea if you will find the scenarios I listed here amusing, or if its humour is a result of my connection with my family, yet I hope you are entertained.
Think of these in a Jennamarbles voice:
1- Chicken Wings.
Scenario: We are at a local restaurant. The female waitress comes up to us, about to take our order.
ME: I’ll get the souvlaki please.
WAITRESS: Ok, and for you? (looking at my sister, pen at the ready)
AKAYLA: (Sets her posture, begins to speak in a polite, proper tone) I’ll have the one ib of wings please! (pronounced ib. Literally.)
WAITRESS: Excuse me? (stifles a laugh)
AKAYLA: (In the same tone) One ib, it says right here!
ME: Akayla, thats L. B. It’s not an ib, it’s the symbol for pound.
AKAYLA: OHHH. Yeah ill have that.
2 – The Creature.
Scenario: I’m driving my sister back to our house at 1am. We live out in the middle of the woods, so there are few houses between our destinations. We see something on the road ahead of us.
AKAYLA: OHHH WHATS THAT! (pointing to a furry creature in the high beams)
ME: It’s a groundhog.
AKAYLA: No no its not.
ME: Akayla, it’s a groundhog.
AKAYLA: OH MY GOD.
AKAYLA: (Enthusiastic and pressed to the window) It must be, like, like, OMG A MiniBEAR.
ME: I don’t think thats real.
AKAYLA: YES. It definitely is. Pull over! Let me take a picture! Ohhh it’s running away.
ME: No, It’s a groundhog.
(It was a groundhog)
3 – Hot Sauce.
Scenario: We are discussing halloween costumes. She pulls out a picture on her phone and begins to explain to me what she’s going to be.
AKAYLA: I’m going to be hot sauce. Isn’t that great?
ME: Oh yeah? What does the costume look like?
AKAYLA: (shows me a picture on her phone) This is it. I ordered the T-shirt.
ME: Oh thats cool, where are you getting the Sriracha (Pronounced ser-ratch-ah. You know the company.) t-shirt?
AKAYLA: (pauses for a moment to think) Who is that?
AKAYLA: Who is that? I don’t know who Sir Ratcha is? I’ll look him up.
ME: (Laughing at a loss for words.)
I love my family.
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